Monday, 6 July 2015
The Great Indian Chamcha
There is a long history of “chamchagiri”. As the days have passed, the art of sycophancy has acquired a status of fine art. From films to politics, industries to schools, the art is mastered by few and many are in the process of mastering it. The more you are mastered by, the more you are on the verge of promotion.
Be it in schools, then try to become an oil factory, purchase the best quality of refined oil and be ready to apply it on the teachers, to get that good marks. Don’t forget to apply it on the class monitors, head boy, prefects. Share some tiffin with the class monitor, and have a jolly time in class. Be a “chipku” with the teachers. Don’t forget to use the oil factory phrases— Sir jee - madam jee - you are a great teacher I have ever seen - my heart doesn’t allow me to bunk your classes, your beauty of teaching should get the full credit for that. The best “chamcha” will surely get the benefit.
When the question comes of public sectors or private sectors, with CEOs, Bosses, Chairmen, how can we overlook the post of a “chamcha”? -with every minute — sometimes, even before the Boss utters any word - the “chamcha” has his lips full of - yes sir -“Haa Haa sir jee: — “aap ka jawab nahi”. The requirement of being sycophantic is implicit when the company publishes their eligibility against any vacant post. The Bosses, CEOs, enjoy it a lot, no doubt about it. They love to have someone who will lick their shoes and polish it, will act as a purchased ‘yes” slave, will do some shopping for his dear Boss and will even clean his boss’ clothes, if he gets that noble chance.
How can we forget our great politicians? The most kissed sinister (a nationwide viewpoint about politicians). They too have their hired or gifted sycophants with long tongues, which help them to lick the shoes of multiple leaders at a time, widely termed a “multi-licker tongue”. They beg to kiss their leaders’ every word, the leaders’ chest get widened up and the “chamcha” does no delay in getting him with a “chest stretchable” vest. The chamcha works 24x7 round the clock, but not selflessly. While licking his leaders already shined shoes, he expresses his hidden desire of getting a promotion. “if not a minister, please make me a state president of your party - of any state – “sir jee”.
Very soon courses will be offered in national and international level universities for postgraduates in “chamchagiri”.want to do PhD in that? Slowly it will be offered, but for that, a joint entrance exam will be conducted at national level. Named as--AICJEE (All India Chamchagiri Joint Entrance Exam). After that, you can proudly write in your resume---“specialisation in chamchagiri”, which will assure you the job. After a certain period of time, world’s chamcha day will be observed, international chamcha award will be bestowed to many and we will mourn on the demise of some of the world’s great “chamcha laureates”.